Thursday, May 14, 2009

Take That, You Stupid Fears


Going through boxes of books (I swear I've given away three hundred books at this point...each successive round cuts a little closer to the core, the books that live in my bloodstream...but there's just no getting around the lack of shelf space...unless I start burning furniture I still have to pare) and I discovered some old calendars and journals.

There was a persistent theme:

July 1997:
"Submit the essay...It can't be that hard...Just do it for God's sake"

November 2003:
"Why I don't write enough...all these layers of avoidance and fear and physical unease..."

Well! Took a while but I kicked ass and got over the writing and submitting fears. Still, I'm thinking that maybe remembering how crushing the fears used to be...might make me more compassionate with people still stuck in the quicksand. Hey you, M, with the beautiful blue eyes...you told me you were trying to get up the nerve to submit that first story...and I just might have given you a glib answer...well, I'm sorry sugar. I forgot, just for a minute, how hard it can be.

(But P.S.: you really can do it. Seriously.)

2 comments:

Kieran Shea said...

M, trust me on this, she knows what she's talking about.

Mags said...

Whenever I read my old journals, I become increasingly concerned that I'm developmentally delayed. They refer to cheese alot.

You're so awesome, Sophie!